pokes: The Green Prosperity Prayer Cloth

The Green Prosperity Prayer Cloth

Yesterday morning I woke up at 4 am and couldn't get back to sleep, so I came out to the computer in the living room and worked a bit on my sermon for Sunday. But that's not what I did first. First, I located the remote. Hey, I'm a guy. I checked the weather channel, then surfed around for a bit. And I stumbled upon a TV preacher named Don Stewart.

Don Stewart He was hawking his Green Prosperity Prayer Cloth, which would bring physical healing and financial prosperity. The TV showed crusades where numerous people were waving the amazing Green Prosperity Prayer Cloth, and they all seemed happy, healthy, and rich. This miracle-working cloth was available for free, just like salvation is free, so it's obviously biblical. I checked out his website.

As I learned, this Green Prosperity Prayer Cloth has been personally blessed and anointed by Don Stewart. I don't know if this anointing occurred before or after the actual cut cloth emerged in 12-inch squares from the Guatemala sweatshop; it would be a shame if the anointing occurred afterwards, and those poor workers, though in constant contact with these cloths, missed the value-added blessing and therefore remain destitute. But God doesn't really care about those Guatemalans, because his focus is on making Americans happy and rich. And evidently some non-Americans, too, because the website says, "Thousands of people around the world have used this Biblical point of contact prayer cloth to receive abundant blessings of financial prosperity."

I'm wondering if God awakened me at 4 am specifically to alert me to the power of Green Prosperity Prayer Cloths, so that I would change my sermon to fit this new discovery. Yes, I'm that impulsive. Since Indiana is a hard-core red state, maybe I could buy a bolt of red cloth, cut it into squares, and pass them out to people at Anchor as our own Red Prosperity Prayer Cloth. By the end of the year we would all be rich, and the church could hire more staff.

Well, I probably won't do that, apart from heavenly thunderbolts. But I did feel compelled to send away for my free Green Prosperity Prayer Cloth. All I needed was to submit a prayer request. Turns out that Jordi, who loves being outdoors in the grass, has taken to meowing in protest when I bring him inside. Meanwhile Molly, the alpha cat, growls and hisses at Jordi a lot, and sometimes slaps him on the head with a paw for no apparent reason, other than to assert her dominance. This is most disturbing. So I sent Don Stewart this prayer request:

"I need wisdom regarding our two kids, Jordi and Molly, who seem to be entering a period of rebellion. Nothing I've done works. Jordi openly protests my authority, and Molly is sometimes abusive toward her younger brother. This is very upsetting. My wife and I are both frustrated. We feel we've been good parents, but something is happening which is beyond our control, so we need prayer for this situation which seems to keep getting worse."

Turns out Rev. Stewart has a "Miracle Mountain of Prayer" where he takes prayer requests. I need to look into getting a prayer mountain for Anchor. It might be difficult to find one in Indiana.

Posted on July 21, 2006 09:52 AM| Permalink

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Please send me some prayer cloths to bless as here in Zambia

Pastor Alan Chisala
Chibwe Basic School
P.o Box 10085
Chingola
Copperbelt
Zambia.

Posted by: Pastor Alan Chisala | May 20, 2008 09:26 AM

I'm not sure if this is funny or sad. I believe that everyone has a green prosperity prayer cloth and it is in the closet of our heart.

This place is where our God connection resides and our needs will be met when we communicate and ask for prosperity. Keep in mind that prosperity comes in all forms, such as our spirituality, good health and not neccesarily a new car or something frivolous.

Thanks for your comments as well.

Posted by: Lila | July 15, 2008 11:02 AM

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