Making a Place for Sex Offenders

An article in the New York Times, called "Sex Offenders Test Churches' Core Beliefs," tells about a church in Carlsbad, Calif., that is embroiled in a controversy about a convicted sex offender who wishes to worship there.

Mark Pliska, 53, told the Pilgrim United Church of Christ congregation that he had been imprisoned for molesting children, but he wanted a place to worship and liked Pilgrim, where a banner inside says, "All are Welcome."

The pastor talked to members who had been abused as children, and to parents, and none objected to Pliska attending. But as he continued getting the feel of the congregation, he found some people saying, "If he stays, I leave," and others saying, "If he leaves, I leave." A no-win situation.

Rick Warren says that people with AIDS are the lepers of today--the outcasts, the people nobody wants to be around. But I suspect that churches are more welcoming of people with AIDS than of child sex offenders. I would say that child sex offenders are today's lepers.

A half-century ago, when divorce was uncommon and highly taboo, churches didn't know what to do with a divorced person. I suspect many of them felt unwelcome. Now our churches are (regretably) filled with divorced people. Today, many conservative churches don't know what to do with gay people. But child sex offenders--they simply revolt us. And society constantly reinforces that attitude. We're told that "Once a child molester, always a child molester." We want nothing to do with them. We don't want them in our pews.

My church, Anchor, fortunately, is not like that. And maybe churches are more loving and accepting than I think they are. But in some conservative churches, you can hardly be a Democrat and be fully accepted, so I'm confident sex offenders are way over the acceptance edge.

As always, it's instructive to ask, "What would Jesus do?" This person who embraced lepers, whose heart went out to prostitutes, to society's untouchables. Would Jesus exclude a child sex offender from fellowship? Of course not. But Christians have a lot of trouble being like Christ.

For now, Pliska has been asked to not attend worship services at Pilgrim, though he does meet with a weekly small group. Good for them. This man is homeless, and thanks to publicity over the church controversy, he lost his job. He yearns for Christian fellowship, but finds himself accepted by some and reviled by others. Life is incredibly difficult for him, but if you say that, people will respond, "But what about his victims! Look how difficult he made their lives!"

It's a tough situation. But how can a church keep its soul when it tells certain people, despite the fact that they are repentant and spiritually hungry, "Because of your past, you aren't welcome here"?

Comments

I'm not convinced that exclusion from the main congregation is a bad thing. While the eternal penalty for our sins may be paid, the natural consequences of that sin are not eliminated, AIDS being a pretty clear example. While Christians are told to forgive, they are not told to forget, for to forget would eventually lead to gullibility. And it's pretty hard to be wise and gullible at the same time.

From where I sit, the big offense of a child molester is the violation of trust. That violation is so vicious, that it's difficult, if not impossible, to repair the trust. I'm not sure we're ever told to treat someone as if they've never sinned (I don't think that's what forgiveness means), and while in God's eyes all sins may be effectively the same, we're not God.

Child Molestation is a sexual addiction and while a child molester can become saved, that does not mean he won't fall into temptation again. I would think he would not want to put himself into a tempting place like a church that has children, just like an alcoholic, even a saved one, should not go into a bar.

Where then are the child molesters to go for growing in the word and worship? What church doesn't have children? I think we forget that scripture says, "All things are possible through Christ who strengthens me." Do we doubt the life changing power and message of Jesus Christ, or do we just choose to believe it when it's convenient?

I have been in a church where a sex offender attended. I treated him like one searching for Christ. I wasn't gullible to think that it would be Ok for this person to be in the kid’s area unsupervised, or at all for that reason as this person had no children. I was aware and sensitive to the situation. This person attended, worshiped, learned, and was taught the message of Jesus Christ in this church, and I hope that by doing so, this person saw a small glimpse of the forgiveness of Jesus Christ and that it had a life changing impact.

As sinners will we answer for our sins? Certainly. And there are consequences to pay for breaking the law, but as Christians we are to love our neighbor as ourselves as hard as that may be. Folks we can't pick and choose who gets to follow Christ and who does or doesn't get in. We simply must show the love of Christ to all.

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