I went to Pizza Hut for lunch today. As I left to pay my bill, the clerk, a young gal, said, "What'd ya have, Sweetie?"

I just gave her my bill and money. I hate it when waitresses call me stuff like that.

She counted out the change and said, "Here you go, Li'l Darling."

Li'l Darling? What in thunderation!!!

These are terms you would normally think of sweet young things saying to old codgers, for whom there is no attraction. A pretend, game-like kind of false flirting to let geezers think they've still "got it." If some young stud approached the check-out register, I seriously doubt she'd call him Sweetie or Li'l Darling. That would seem like genuine flirting. Rather, she'd probably be holding her breath, hoping he noticed her hair or something, maybe ask for her phone number.

But me? No, I'm totally harmless. Just another old guy.