At the Y, a long bank of TVs hang on the wall to help fitnessnics while away the time on the treadmills, bikes, and arc trainers. My arm-bound Radio Shack tuner lets me dial into the various channels.

So I'm treadmilling last night, switching back and forth between MSNBC and FOXNews. And getting very frustrated. Lots of very serious analysis of lipstick comments. Olberman is bashing McCain and giving Democrats highly articulate wet kisses. Meanwhile, O'Reilly is pretending to be fair and balanced while belittling all things Democrat.

Olberman is now officially a joke (there, Mom, I said it), his own Worst Person in the World. (O'Reilly has been one for some time.) His Alpha Dog power trip downed Tucker Carlson and Dan Abrams, and he's working on banishing Tom Brokaw, who told him on air that he was being unfair.

Their shows end. On comes newcomer Rachel Maddow on MSNBC, and Hannity and Colmes on Fox. Maddow is Olberman's spunky little sister. Hannity loves superlatives and exaggerations, like last night when he said of McCain, "He had every bone in his body broken in a Hanoi prison." Colmes is allowed to speak occasionally.

I just want to watch some objective news. A couple nights ago, Olberman interviewed Obama, with questions akin to this: "You've seen the latest McCain ad. It was stupid, right?" I think even Obama was embarrassed by it, and may have thought Olberman was hitting on him, it was so suck-uppity chummy.

I went home and turned on CNN. Anderson Cooper was actually dealing with issues--comparisons of the candidates' tax plans, their abortion views, other stuff. It was enlightening. What a concept.

I miss having Headline News at night, when you could actually turn on the TV and get the day's news. Now, Headline News has Shallow Glen and Shamelessly Exploitive Nancy...and better ratings, evidently. So sad.