October 2008 Archives

I get upset when OTHER drivers talk on their cell phones.

I was just four years old in 1960, so I have no memories of that election. But some of my coworkers do. During breaktime this afternoon, they recalled the fear-mongering of the 1960 election.

• That if JFK were elected, he'd be taking orders from the Pope.
• That JFK will force everyone to use the Catholic Bible, including in Sunday school, and outlaw all other Bibles.

One coworker, while out at lunch (in historically racist Huntington), was asked by some guy at the gas station or bank or somewhere, "Are you ready to have a black man as president?"

John McCain, to his credit, has avoided the fear-mongering that trademarked the Karl Rove campaigns of 2000 and 2004. There has been plenty of negative campaigning (on both sides), but the fear-mongering (not to mention race-baiting) has come from people outside the official campaigns. That's something we can applaud.

Let me say right here that I favor wealth redistribution. Sorry, John and Sarah.

I'm talking about downward redistribution. Under every Republican president since Reagan, and most noticeably under the current guy in the White House, wealth has been redistributed upward. The divide between the rich and poor has steadily increased in an audaciously unbiblical fashion. Under Republicans (of who I are one), the rich get richer (through sundry new tax breaks, plus the occasional 700 Billion Dollar Bailout), and the poor get poorer. Ya think Jesus would approve of that?

Isn't upward redistribution a version of socialism, too?

Unfortunately, things didn't go as expected. I was 16 ounces into that horridly blekky Trilyte when my Miniere's Disease came to the rescue with a strong vertigo attack. I, uh, expelled everything consumed thus far, and was out of commission for the next few hours, hugging the floor while the world revolved around me. Vertigo is better than Cedar Point.

I remain vaguely haunted by the taste of Trilyte, though I'm hoping the memory will fade as the years pass. I am now informed (thank you, Mom) that there are alternatives to Trilyte. So rather than drink a whole gallon of toxic waste, I could use alternatives involving just 4 oz of fluid intake, though the taste is considerably worse (toxic waste gone sour), and you supplement it with laxatives and enemas. Or something like that. I've been avoiding information overload, the TMI Syndrome, lest it bring on another visit from Cousin Vertigo.

The bottom line: no matter what route you go, prepping for a colonoscopy sucks.

There it is, 4 litres of Trilyte. In a few minutes, I must begin drinking it, 8 ounces every 10-20 minutes, until it's gone. I left out the flavor packs, because I was told they are very sweet and can cause nausea. A mistake? When I pour that first glass in a few minutes and take a sip, I'll know the answer to that.

So, let the fun begin.

UPDATE: Okay, that wasn't so bad. Not nearly as bad-tasting as I expected, though all things considered, I'd rather have Gatorade. Gagged a couple times at first. The key is to take baby sips. I got ambitious on the last mini-gulp and almost spit out the whole thing, but managed to hold it. Good for me.

Last week I turned 52. So I'm two years past-due for one of the rites of AARPdom.

On Tuesday morning, I have the distinct pleasure of undergoing my first colonoscopy. Which means tomorrow is prep day. No food. Just liquids. Juice (no pulp), Gatorade, Jello, chicken broth. I can't do the broth. Doesn't appeal in the least. Then, around 5:00, I start drinking 4 liters of stuff which my body will try to get rid of ASAP. I understand that this is the really fun part.

So yes, I'm looking forward to starting another week.

This morning I went to Family Practice to give some blood for a regular test. I hate giving blood, even the little bit they need for these tests. Makes me grow faint. I usually end up with my head between my legs, eyes blurry, feeling weak and very un-macho.

Which is what happened this morning. As predicted. Based on long experience.

I am such a wimp. Guys, in general, are wimps when it comes to this kind of thing.

Pam went with me, both to hold my hand and to give her own sample of blood. She went first, just pumping the stuff right out and watching while she did it. Then, as if no life-strength had been sucked from her, she stood up while I underwent my ordeal.

Girls can be so disgusting sometimes.

Mark Cuban, billionaire owner of the Dallas Mavericks, has been writing about financial issues quite a bit lately on his popular Blog Maverick. I just finished a really good piece about debt, especially credit card debt. Some unconventional advice that makes great sense.

"If it takes selling every stock, bond and whatever you have to pay off your debts, do it. If it means borrowing against your 401k and paying back yourself instead of the credit card or finance company, do it. It is a far better return than you will ever make putting that money elsewhere."

That sounds drastic, but read his reasoning, and then argue about it.

Real interesting interview with Rick Warren on the Christianity Today site, called "After the Aloha Shirts."

• The breakout star: Joe the Plumber.
• The big question: will Joe appear on the campaign trail beside McCain, or beside Obama? Because he's gonna end up with one or the other.
• These have been boring debates. Bush-Kerry, Bush-Gore, Clinton-Dole, Reagan-Anyone...far more interesting.
• Bob Scheiffer was the best moderator.
• They still avoided the "what programs will you need to cut in light of the financial crisis" question. Their answers are still: Yes, we can spend an extra trillion dollars, and you can still have the candy store. No need to cut or sacrifice, heaven forbid. We can still have it all.
• Though, to his credit, Obama did say we've been living beyond our means and would need to make adjustments.
• I didn't see a winner in last night's debate. Except for Joe the Plumber, of course.
• If you go to joetheplumber.com, it's a guy in Amarillo, Texas who suddenly owns a very valuable piece of cyber real estate. Free estimates! Call now!
• McCain, the guy who doesn't use a computer, thinks a sophisticated planetarium projector is just an overhead projector.
• Thankfully, only one passing reference to "preconditions."
• Scheiffer did a good job of pressing them about negative campaigning. Both were unapologetic and, as they would both insist, "I cannot tell a lie." On live national TV, we watched their noses grow.
• Michael Sherer notes that McCain got under Obama's skin several times. "If Obama's job was to be unflappable, he found himself flapped at several points."
• I tracked down and listened to the original encounter with Joe the Plumber. Regardless of whether or not you agree with Obama, I was impressed with his knowledge about economic issues. Either that, or he's real slick.
• Said Michael Grunwald on the Swampland live-blog: "Mccain is gritting his teeth so hard they're going to come out his chin."
• Karen Tumulty on the same: "Obama seemed cool and collected, while McCain‚Äôs grimaces were painful to watch."

I predict another boring debate, unless McCain comes out with something new and bold. Which he probably needs to do.

Mike Murphy, on Swampland, says, "Obama's mission is simple. Kill the clock. Act Presidential. Hope nothing happens. He's winning." Probably true. He had some other excellent advice for McCain.

Here's what I'm most looking forward to: the live-blogging by Karen Tumulty, Mike Grunwald, and Jim Poniewozik. It's a load of fun.

I just learned that Taylor University is closing its Fort Wayne campus.

• It started out as Fort Wayne Bible College.
• It became Summit Christian College.
• Then, following what some describe as a hostile takeover by Taylor University, it became Taylor University - Fort Wayne.

Now it'll be no more. About 200 employees will be affected. That includes a variety of people I know (including at least one person at Anchor).

The Fort Wayne campus served a lot of urban, lower-income students. The Upland, Ind., campus is known for being a hot-bed of rich kids. So once again, the poor get shafted.

I've been greatly impressed with the students at Taylor-Fort Wayne, and with their mission-mindedness in serving Christ throughout the city. They live within a big mission field on the city's messed-up south side, and they represent Christ well. These kids will be missed. I imagine most will end up at Indiana Purdue - Fort Wayne.

I'm sure Taylor U didn't make this decision lightly. But I see churches leaving the neighborhood where Anchor is located, fleeing to the richer suburbs. And now Taylor does something similar. I wonder what Jesus thinks.

• Pam's been getting lots of mailings from the Obama campaign. She must be in some heavily-targeted demographic (married 40-something white women without kids????). Printing companies are having a heyday.
• An illuminating Time story about Troopergate and the ham-handedness of the Palin administration (and her husband's out-sized role). Doesn't inspire confidence.
• I greatly respect how John McCain has handled some of the loony comments being made in town-hall meetings about Obama. While his own campaign has shamefully spawned and encouraged some of these comments, McCain is very publicly denouncing comments from his own supporters. Interesting.
• Last week, Anderson Cooper (CNN) did a report detailing all of Obama's interactions over the years with William Ayres. It was pretty extensive, far beyond what Obama admits. (Though I have trouble getting worked up about it.)
• I really enjoy "The Vote Blog," from the Christian Science Monitor website. Balanced and witty.
• With all the attention on the presidential campaign, I'm not hearing anything about other important races, like Senate seats. Usually, these gets plenty of press.
• Watched Mike Huckabee's new show on Fox, Saturday night at 8:00. Kinda interesting. Interviewed Chuck Norris--interesting, but not much substance. But loved the band number at the end (all band members being Fox employees, with Huck on the bass). They did "Mustang Sally" this week.
• General Petraeus talks about negotiating with your enemies and preconditions. Good stuff.
• Turns out the National Security Agency has been listening to calls from any US citizens calling from the Middle East--aid works, journalists, tourists, soldiers--"Americans who are not in any way, shape, or form associated with anything to do with terrorism....Calling home to the United States, talking to their spouses, sometimes their girlfriends." NSA monitors would jokingly share recordings of pillow talk between US military officers and their spouses. Protecting the world for democracy and freedom, by violating civil and privacy rights.
• The general who led the Abu Ghraib investigation, Antonio Taguba, believes the Bush Administration should be charged with war crimes for the torture and mistreatment of prisoners. I agree. But it'll never happen (unless the Europeans take the lead).
• So Sarah Palin will appear on Saturday Night Live this week. Smart move for her. Really. She'll gain points. Says Palin of Tina Fey, "I love her, she‚Äôs a hoot and she‚Äôs so talented. It would be fun to meet her and keep on giving her new material."

After we ate yesterday at Dog & Suds, Pam got the hiccups. And it reminded me.

I was probably in fourth grade at the time. Some TV show--it might have been Candid Camera--sent someone around asking people, "How do you get rid of the hiccups?"

One person said, "I think of seven bald-headed men."

Sounds silly, but: it worked me me. I kid you not. I would start thinking about bald guys in our church, and the hiccups would go away. I didn't even need to reach seven.

I'm serious. This worked for me. For years.

Republican family values can be interesting sometimes. We have Joe Biden, who traveled home every night from Washington. And we have John McCain, who has been largely absent from his kids' lives. But the Republican is the "family values" person.

Cindy McCain likes to call herself an only child, and she was the sole inheritor of her father's beer fortune. But she actually has two half-sisters, one from her father's first marriage and one from her mother's first marriage.

Cindy's father died in 2000. He left his other daughter, Kathleen Portalski, $10,000. Meanwhile, Cindy got a couple hundred million dollars. She was not only disinherited, but Cindy won't even acknowledge her existance. Even at the funeral, in her eulogy, Cindy told the crowd she was "his only child." While Kathleen sat nearby, dumbfounded.

Would Cindy want her family of blended children to treat each other that way? I can't imagine Pam and her half-sister treating each other that way. They don't even like being called half-sisters, and will probably chew me out for mentioning it. They are sisters in every way.

Aren't these legitimate concerns for a Christian to raise?

There are so many ways in which I think Cindy McCain is great. And yet...if you insist on seeing the world (and politics) only in black and white, there's a lot you must ignore. Life and people are messy.

You must read the transcript of the Swampland live-blog of the debate, by reporters Karen Tumulty, Michael Grunwald, and James Poniewozik. It's hysterical. They started a half hour before the debate started, and continued to the end, injecting snide little comments throughout. Here are snippets:

• Poniewozik: "Staffer who gave Obama the current price of gas in Nashville gets a little something extra in his paycheck this week.
• Tumulty: "It really is feeling like Short Attentin Span Theater."
• Poniewozik: "What does Soledad O'Brien think about again being consigned to undecided-voter-panel hell in Columbus again?
• Tumulty: "What's with the stools. Is this "Cheers"?
• Poniewozik: "There will be an acoustic guitar segment."
• Grunwald: "It's like they take turns delivering their stump speeches."
• Poniewozik: "Somewhere, Bill Clinton is throwing things at the TV."
• Tumulty: "I'm very distracted by McCain standing behind Obama and looking really, really mad."
• Grunwald: "This format sucks. It's just side-by-side stump speeches with human props."
• Poniewozik: "Congratulations, Commission on Presidential Debates! You managed to take an encounter with real Americans and drain it of any possible human interest!"

Some of my reactions to last night's second presidential debate:

• BORING!
• Debates seem to sap every ounce of charisma out of Obama.
• I found myself terribly annoyed at both of them for ignoring the agreed-upon time structures. They both see themselves as above the rules.
• Once, when Brokaw admonished them about following the time limits, Obama said he was just trying to keep up with McCain. Which is a totally leaderless way of whining, "He started it!"
• I fell asleep halfway through.
• I guess they did deal with issues, just in a droning kind of way.
• Where's the witty, smiling, happy warrior McCain of 2000?
• Obama continually used up all his time, and then would say, "I'd like to make one more point." Really annoying.
• Toward the end, I thought McCain was launching into another tedious "preconditions" rant. (Jesus said that when you have problems with someone, you go talk to them. I apply that view to international relations, which is why I'm in line with Obama on this. Talking is better than pouting.)
• McCain could take shots and just brush them off. But Obama was defensive, wanting to correct every perceived misstatement. As I said before: chill, dude.
• On Morning Joe this morning, they were lamenting that there wasn't a baseball game they could switch to.
• People are making too much over McCain's "that one" statement. In such a dull debate, it's hard finding something to talk about.
• I found McCain's answers easier to follow than Obama's. But when I didn't drift off, I liked Obama's answers.
• McCain really really dislikes Obama.
• They both worked hard at contriving empathy for voters and for the people asking questions. I think we all saw through it. Obama and McCain didn't truly "feel your pain."
• Okay, John, we got it: you're a maverick. Jolly.
• They're saying Obama won because he didn't lose. Maybe so. But he was somewhat diminished in my eyes. No great vision or hint of charisma (unlike the first debate).
• Michael Scherer notes that, "The key to the classic McCain town hall is that McCain is having fun. He did not appear to be having fun tonight."
• McCain seemed to disappear real soon after the debate ended, while Obama stuck around. What's with that?

I mean, really. How many men would give up drinking if "faced" with a threat like this? Or maybe the men of the early 1900s were more character-driven.

Wanna be stretched?

An Alabama pastor, while attending the Innovate Conference in Granger, Ind., felt it was important to baptize one of his parishioners NOW. Not to wait until he returned to Alabama. So he conducted a baptism over the internet, with live video. Five days later, that girl died suddenly of an aortic aneurysm.

Tim Stevens, a pastor at Granger Community Church, tells about the baptism on his blog, and you can watch a video of the baptism. It gave me goosebumps.

Get used to this kind of thing happening. Imagine:

• A pastor conducting a wedding over the internet, though he and the couple are in different states (or continents!).
• Using the internet to dedicate the child of missionaries from your church who are serving overseas (as the entire congregation watches on a big screen).
• Accepting new members into your church over the internet.

I'm sure the advent of radio preaching drew criticisms that people were substituting the radio for actual church attendance. Likewise with TV preaching. While we can agree that gathering with other believers is what God fully desires, it's also true that radio and TV have reached a lot of people for Christ--people who, otherwise, might never have heard the Gospel.

Now we have podcasts and video streaming of church services, so people can "attend church" at their convenience. Nurses and policemen who work Sunday mornings can download a video of the service and watch it when they can. This is a good thing.

We also have multicasting--a pastor's message is beamed to churches in several other locations. Last October, Pam and I attended a church where the message was being seen in several locations in that facility (including their own coffee cafe).

You can argue all you want about how "This isn't what God intended." But though I'll always prefer the face-to-face, I have difficulty seeing technological tools as being anti-biblical.

The Apostle Paul himself was high-tech, for his day. He used letters to instruct, admonish, and encourage. He couldn't be there in person, so he wrote letters. Letters which were multicasted from town to town, millennium to millennium. Jesus never wrote letters (that we know of). But we believe Paul's letters were divinely inspired.

So why can't God, likewise, be totally present in that internet baptism?

I contribute occasionally to our denominational BishopBlog. Here are some recent items by me:

• Tool or Toy? (Part 1) (Sept 27).
• Tool or Toy? (Part 2) (Sept 19).
• Going First (Sept 27).
• Notes from MinistryCOM, Day 1 (Sept 19).
• Target the Young, Get the Old (Sept 17).

The pundits are going gaga over Sarah Palin's performance, as if she charmed the socks off of voters with her folksiness. I find this terribly condescending. The coastal pundits think we heartlanders are a bunch of shallow hicks who swoon over someone who drops betcha, doggone, and darn into speech. We fell for a down-home-talkin' fellow in 2000. Give us credit for looking a tad deeper this time.

Here is the debate I saw:

• Sarah Palin held her own. She acquitted herself well, and redeemed her interviews with Couric and Gibson.
• She's feisty and likable.
• Biden and Palin kept the debate civil and respectful. None of McCain's demeanor from the first debate.
• I felt Palin was downright (there, a folksy term) rude. The way she ignored Gwen Ifill's questions and talked about whatever she wanted to talk about.
• I found Biden much easier to understand. His answers were more nuanced, more complex--yet more comprehensible. Palin just rambled with talking points, and often, when she finished, I had no real idea what she said. And I'm not a dumb guy. But heck, she was just so doggone charmin', weren't she?
• I was impressed with Biden. Of course, I was before.
• Interesting how Biden didn't correct her for naming the general "McLellan," when his real name is McKiernan. He went out of his way not to attack her. He was walking a tightrope of sorts, and I'm sure it wasn't comfortable for him.
• I appreciated Biden's strong attack on the way Cheney has abused his VP powers, and Palin's desire to increase VP powers sent chills up my spine.
• I didn't care for the way Biden kept repeating the same lines. Hey, I got it the first time.
• Liked his comeback about McCain being a maverick on some things, but not on issues that really mattered. Though he has, indeed, gone against the administration on issues I consider important (like Iraq, torture, and climate change).
• I'm comforted that both candidates believe global warming is for real, and want to do something about it.
• Palin sounded like Mark McGwire, saying he wasn't there to talk about the past. That worked well for McGwire.
• At one point, they seemed in a contest to see who could say "middle class" the most.
• Palin kept talking about "victory" and "winning" in Iraq. This isn't the type of war you "win." I found her use of such words very naive.
• Can't she learn to say "nuclear" right (instead of adopting Bush's pronunciation of nucular)?
• I thought she did great on the questions surrounding gay rights and the traditional family. She and Biden held the same view. Yes, it's possible for a conservative Christian to believe that homosexuality is sin, while at the same time, as a citizen of a pluralistic secular country, favoring full civil rights for gay couples. But I don't suppose James Dobson was too happy about it.
• If, at the beginning, Biden had told her "No, you can't call me Joe. It's Senator Biden," then she couldn't have used her "Say it ain't so, Joe" lines. Clever that she got permission ahead of time.
• Biden, to my memory, never attempted any gimmicky lines.
• Both came across as plain-folks types, the kind you would enjoy having over for dinner.
• It's pretty clear: Biden knows the issues inside and out.
• Regarding that question about what campaign promises they would need to forgo in light of the budget crisis (the same question Jim Lehrer asked in vain): Biden answered it well, while Palin seemed to insist that there wasn't anything they would cut. Hmmmm.

While the pundits seem to be giving Palin a win, polls of average Joes show a preference for Biden. People are looking much deeper than the Elite Joes think they are. From the post-debate polls, looks like more undecideds broke for Obama than for McCain.

But yet, Palin definitely helped herself and the campaign with her debate performance. Expectations were so low that, as long as she didn't collapse in tears, she would be declared the winner.

Time has been running live blogging of the debates by some of their crack correspondents. Tonight it was Karen Tumulty (whom I love), Jim Poniewozik, and Michael Grunwald. I love Karen Tumulty's writing on the Swampland blog; she's very funny.

Their running commentary is great, and highly irreverent. Poniewozik, in his closing comment, said, "By the negative frame in which this debate was set, both candidates succeeded at not doing what they needed not to do. Or something like that."

It's really fun to read. You should check it out.

Fort Wayne, in its infinite wisdom, decided to get rid of its semi-pro baseball stadium, which is still fairly new, is very attractive, and has abundant, accessible parking. A new stadium is being constructed in what's being called Harrison Square. This is Fort Wayne's version of "Save the Downtown," a move which is succeeding in cities across the country...NOT.

In addition, the Fort Wayne Wizards will get a new name. The public was invited to submit ideas. Today they announced the winner:

Fort Wayne Tin Caps.

Say...what?

The name supposedly honors Johnny Appleseed, who is buried in Fort Wayne. I'm not sure how it does that. Right now, 91% of people polled online dislike the name.

At MinistryCOM, one workshop leader, a designer, told of another designer who always gives clients a "goat"--one bad logo or design, along with the good ones. This guy called him up and frantically said, "They selected the goat!"

I think that's what happened here. Someone facetiously submitted the name "Tin Caps," and they chose the goat.

Here are some other goats that were submitted, all of which I prefer to the Tin Caps:

• Fort Wayne Mighty Gherkins
• Fort Wayne.comPadres (they're a minor league team of the San Diego Padres)
• Harrison SquarePants.
• Hoosier Daddies

Just imagine all the fun we could have had with Hoosier Daddies? There could be a variety of special promotions--Hoosier Mamma day (mothers come half-price), Hoosier Cell Phone Provider, Hoosier High School, Hoosier Favorite Pizza Place, etc.

At MinistryCOM, I was different from most of the other speakers and workshop leaders in one key way:

I tucked in my shirt.

There is a certain cool factor in not tucking in your shirt. I don't have it, and don't know how to get it. I sit here typing with my shirt properly tucked in. Hopeless.

On the other hand, consider Tip Number 5 from Guy Kawasaki's "11 Public-Speaking Pointers":

Overdress. My father was a politician in Hawaii. When I started speaking, he gave me this advice: Never dress beneath the level of the audience. That is, if they're wearing suits, you should wear a suit. To underdress is to communicate, "I'm smarter/richer/more powerful than you. I can't take you seriously, and there's nothing you can do about it." This is hardly the way to get an audience to like you.

On the other hand (says Tevye the Milkman), Tip Number 4 is "Understand the Audience." And the audience at MinistryCOM consists largely of laid-back, unpretentious, tech-savvy, often irreverent laypersons. The untucked shirt befits them.